Friday, December 5, 2008

Weird...

My landlady is a unique person.

When I first met her she had staples in her face from just getting a face-lift. She seemed like an odd character, but I loved the neighborhood and she was asking for a small amount of money for a nicely sized place, so I couldn't pass it up.

About two weeks ago something bizarre and terrifying happened. I came back to the house (I rent out the third floor) at around noon on a Sunday. I had a philosophy class that morning and I was eager to get inside and watch some football. I open the door and turn around to click the dead-bolt into the locked position. I hear someone coming down the stairs, then I hear my landlord say "OH SHIT". This makes me look up quickly and she is COMPLETELY NAKED. She tried hurrying up the stairs so I didn't see her, but that damage was done. I saw what I saw, and it can never be unseen. Fortunately, she doesn't know that I saw her.

Then today I came back from my Friday morning film class and I hear a vacuum running upstairs. This isn't out of the ordinary, she's a clean freak. She has OCD, owns 9 vacuums (not even joking) and uses at least three of them daily. I figure she just vacuuming her room on the second floor or whatever.

But once I get to the second floor I notice that the chords are going up to the third floor. I thought that was odd, but figured she was probably just cleaning up the bathroom, which she sometimes uses and stores extra things in. But once I get up the stairs, I see my bedroom door wide open with three vacuum chords going into it. I walk in and she's on her hands and knees vacuuming my floor and the rug near my T.V. I say, "Um...hey, what's up?" and she looks at me and says, "I was just cleaning up in here because it was absolutely filthy."
Okay. That's weird. I say to her, "yeah...uh, I guess I'm not the cleanest person around." Then she says, "No, no you're not. Not at all. I'll be done in a few minutes."

I know this is a weird thing to be complaining about, having someone clean up for you unannounced, but that's just the thing. I feel like a guest here, and I shouldn't. I pay a lot of money to stay here and it's frustrating have my personal space invaded this often.

She could have asked me if I could clean up in here. I would have done it. I should also mention that it was not even that dirty in here at all. There was a small amount of dust and maybe a crumb or two on the floor. But she acted like I have been shitting on my rug and smearing it on my walls. She took a pretty harsh tone with me, too, when she was explaining how unclean I can be.

She has drawn a gross naked old lady line in the sand and has crossed it. I can't stand it.

I'm really looking forward to moving out of this place. I'm hoping to find a new place maybe sometime in May or June. I'm planning on living with people my age. Other twenty-somethings. Maybe they won't break into my room to clean it up.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

This is Why I Can't Buy Tasty Things

Yesterday I was out buying some things for the apartment at a pharmacy store. I made the mistake of walking past the snack section and, thinking back to how empty my snack drawer was, bought some snacks. Too many snacks.

I left with three cans of Pringles and a big bag of Deli style potato chips.

I figured three cans of Pringles would last me a week or two, since I don't consider myself a glutton. Turns out, however, that I am a glutton.

I bought all those chips on Wednesday at around 4 pm. By 6pm the next day I was down to half a bag of potato chips. I ate all three cans of Pringles and half of the nasty deli style ones. I've never been so conscious of my ass, hips, and stomach.

Let's do some math.

The Pringles crisps have 150 calories in 1 serving. There are 6 servings in each tin.

6 x 150 = 900 calories

900 x 3 = 2700 calories.

2700 calories in just about a day. And that's on top of my regular, not-so-healthy diet.

This is all part of my plan, so don't worry for my weight or health. You have to gain weight to lose weight. That's a fact. A true fact.

New Direction


I'm taking the ole' blog in a new direction. That's right, I'm actually going to post (don't hold me to that)

I changed the blog name from inspirational to semi-cynical. Because, well, like they've always said "Sex and cynicism sells".

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Family Feud

My family visited me these past few days. Aubrey, Jayden and Mom. It was really nice to see them (and also nice to receive free groceries and meals and other stuff) but it was also very frustrating. We were all on our periods, apparently. Everyone was crabby with one another and it was stressful, but I like to think that we all had a good time.

As soon as they all left I got really homesick for the first time since I moved a little over two weeks ago. It just felt like a rot in my gut for a bit. I've felt a little bit of it on and off since I moved, but I think just because I haven't had much going on, it really just sunk in. Just the comfort of having my own room in my family house, to pop out every once and a while to talk. To eat and live there for free. Knowing exactly what to expect from my neighborhood, and to know it inside and out. I miss that familiarity. But I'm looking forward to find that comfort, or something like it, here.

Maybe I'll get a kitten.

I have a lot of photos from Monday night. We took a guided cruise tour around the city and I thought it would be annoying and touristy (it was very touristy) but I loved it. We stood on the deck of the boat for the whole thing. It was breathtaking. Here are some pictures I took that I'm
happy with.

You should click on these to see them in better resolution. They're still compromised, though, but they'll be bigger. We all love bigger.

It was really nice on the water.

Also, I have to mention how much solitaire I've been playing. A lot. Since I broke my foot and don't have internet connections at the house, I've been spending a lot of time lately just playing solitaire and listening to music. I used to suck at it, but I am starting to master it now.

I probably started playing it like three days ago.

Yeah that's right. 101 games played. At the time it was taken earlier this morning. I think it's up to about 115 now.
Yeah that's right. 14 games won. I'm still working on it.



Booyah.

And to update you on my broken foot. It's been getting better! I'm pretty happy because I can walk at an almost regular pace. It just starts to really hurt if I'm on my feet for too long. But after the first day I didn't need my crutches. And starting this morning, I just ace bandage my foot and put it in a normal shoe. I still limp a little, but it's a lot better than I thought. And I just rode my bike here (the college) and it was awesome. It took like 2 minutes and it was a nice ride. I think I'm gonna continue that as much as possible. (Hopefully no one steals my bike...)

And here's my bruised broken foot. It was swollen like a balloon the first day, but it's almost at regular size.

See ya!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Bad Luck

I've seen to been stricken by bad luck.

I wrote about the internet, but that's nothing in comparison to my new adventure. A broken foot! WOOOOOOO. I was taking out the trash last night, and my hands were full so I couldn't flick on the light. I misjudged the last stair and slipped on it, then landed sideways on my right foot. And it's broken. It took me about 20 minutes to walk on crutches to the coffee shop right near my house. It's usually a 5 minute walk. And I'm drenched in sweat because crutches are a fucking work out. This place is filled with cute women right now. Fuck my life.

I have no idea how I'm going to get to school. That's usually a 15-20 minute walk. On crutches it'll probably be an hour. And I'll have to bring a change of clothes.

This should be a fun six to eight weeks...


PITY ME.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Neighborhood

This'll be more pictures than words.

My house:


The backyard. The train runs right behind us, it's actually kinda nice.


These are from the front porch.



This man was in SoHo, I realized later that I'm an amateur photographer. I really should have went up to him and took some close ups, he was spinning and laughing and releasing bubbles. Maybe I'll see him again...


Little Italy. Mulberry St.

Chinatown. Obviously. I didn't get to walk through too much of Chinatown, I was just trying to get into Little Italy to check it out.

This is at the Columbus Circle stop, right outside Central Park


Softball in the park.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Internet Pooping

Who knew getting an internet connection in Brooklyn could be such an adventure? I'm actually posting from a coffee shop near my house. The internet is working here today (hallelujah) as last time I came...it was not. But let me fill you in on my hilarious efforts for internet. Something went wrong every step of the way for me.

Here's how it should have worked:

Step 1: Call provider and order Verizon High Speed Internet Service
Step 2: Receive self-installation kit in mail
Step 3: Install phone-filters on all phones (this allows you to use the DSL internet without interrupting the phone use)
Step 4: Install Modem and connect to internet
Step 5: SURF THAT WEB LIKE JACK JOHNSON!

Five simple steps, right? Not for this dude.

Step one went well, actually. The guy was helpful.
Step two was a very minor problem. They sent the package, but no one was home, so I had to wait until the next day to sign for it. Not a big deal.
Step three; now that I have the kit, I should install it. But they forgot the phone filter. Woe is me, my life is a continuation of turd-filled toilet water spiraling down into a sewer. Actually, it wasn't a big deal at all. I called and told them they forget the filter, so they sent one out and I got it two days later (yesterday).

But here's where it gets fun. I go to install the new filter on my landlords phone, and the phone is too old. It doesn't fit. I spend an hour trying to make it fit. Then I realize, this isn't my phone, maybe I shouldn't be so tough with it. So I tell my landlord about the situation, and suggest that I'll go buy her a new phone. She's okay with that, so I go to Rite-Aid and get a 10 dollar phone. I bring it home and it fits and it works and all is well (landlord was even pleased with my color choice of phone [black]) So I run upstairs, giddy, ready to install the internet and catch up on a week of missed e-mails, facebook stalking, blogging, foruming, etc. And I go through all the steps, then the installation prompt says it's checking the connection. "Check away", says I. (Side note: I've been reading old novels and my writing is really pompous right now, sorry) Long story short: the phone line in my room doesn't work. HA! I thought, well maybe it's a problem with the internet service. I brought up the new phone and plugged it into the wall...no dialtone. BAULDERDASH! POPPYCOCK! (Actually the book I'm reading is from the 80's so I have no excuse for this masturbatory style of writing) But yeah... phone line not working. So I don't know what to do. I doubt the landlord will be pumped about someone coming and rewiring and breaking shit down so I can have internet. BUT I NEED IT! I am addicted to internet. A fiend, a junkie. It's sad because if you're gonna be a junkie, it should be toward something really cool, like heroin. Actually, in my hood, it's a lot easier to get heroin than internet access, apparently. But these are my troubles so far.

And I really shouldn't be complaining because everything else is going pretty okay (except some parts of the school business, but that'll be for the next post.)

I need to show you peeps a few more photos of my place, though. I'll end it with that.

And I need to take some photos of my neighborhood and other parts of nyc...hopefully those will be in the next post also. I'm probably heading to Central Park for lunch today, maybe I'll bring the camera along.

Until next time!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Last Day First Day

So I celebrated the last day in Rochester with a few friends. Ed Miller, who's sort of a scum bag (I can say that, he doesn't read this) made me drive because he wanted to get drunk...on my last night. The bastard. Nah, I'm kidding, I volunteered to drive, so he took me up on it, but it's all good. But Ben, Sam, and Savannah were there also and we celebrated and had a good time. Also, it was Sam and Savannah's 6 month anniversary! Congrats guys!
Ben is about to vomit cus he had so much fun.


Well I have to cut this short because me and Holl are about to go out. But here are pics of the room.


Actually the internet's about to die, so I'll have more pics of the room and neighborhood on the next post. PEACE!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Low Bridge, Everybody Down

I went for one last bike ride on the canal yesterday. My friend and I probably took about 10 trips on it this summer and I did maybe 4 or 5 on my own, so I've really come to know it.

I'm gonna miss 'er.

The canal path entrance:
It was a bit of a drab day:
But it cleared up:
Don't poop:








It's missing a comma:




See ya 'round.

Lazy McGee

I've been lazy and a little more busy since I returned from my trip. So I didn't write a dense blog update explaining my trip. But I realized that the most notable thing that happened was me landing a place to stay, which I already told all you readers (and by that I mean you, Nik.)

Not that the visit was uneventful. It was really cool hanging out with my friends and meeting a few new ones. We got sushi one night which was pretty great, and we ordered a bottle of sake and the size was a little underwhelming...comically so. But good times were had.

Also, Holly has been telling me about this really cool bar right across from where she works. She boasted about it, and I kind of figured it was going to be this really ritzy place because it's three buildings away from a hotel that celebrities usually stay. But I was pleasantly surprised, it was really cool in there, and the beer list was as awe-inspiring as the fountain of youth. Actually, the beer list literally* WAS the fountain of youth!

*not literally

But my favorite part of the trip, and probably the most breath-taking part of nyc that I've been to so far is the view from Holly's roof. There's this secret little area she showed us, that takes some effort to get to, but is totally worth it. It's actually this small patch above the door on the roof, you need to hop up two levels to get there. It's gorgeous. A perfect view of mid-town...and if you're ever up there I suggest ingesting a little bit of wine to really sweeten the situation. It's very picturesque at night; I could probably have sat up there for hours taking it all in. I took a picture with my camera phone but it hardly does the location justice. The phone camera makes everything look farther away, when in real life it seems much more tangible. Almost as if you can rearrange the letters on the Metlife building.

Yeah, I don't know why I insisted on getting my gross, sun-tanned feet in the photo. But I did.

Also I have to mention another really great view of the city comes from the Q train ride into Manhattan from my new place. It runs parallel to the Brooklyn Bridge or maybe the Manhattan Bridge, I don't really know. But from the window you can see the bridge, the Statue of Liberty, the downtown city skyline, and the shimmering East River. Well, it has to be sunny for the water to be shimmering, and it was on Saturday as we rode back into the city. It was such a surreal view that it actually made me laugh out loud. And I'll be able to experience that quite often now. Which makes me feel pretty great.


Next stop: Erie Canal ("stand clear of the closing doors, please")

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Brooklyn Bound!

So Theresa and myself went into Brooklyn about two hours ago to check out the third floor of a Victorian House that's being rented out.

The lady who owns the house is certainly a character, she greeted us with fresh stitches and staples from a recent facelift surgery. Which was odd, but she seems like a very cool woman and I think (I hope) it'll work out well with me being there.
And as you can tell by the tone of the last sentence... I GOT IT! WOOOO!

The space is huge, it's like three rooms for the price of one. There's a full bath up there, and plenty of room to stretch out and get cozy. I'll post pictures once I move, I didn't want to feel intrusive taking photos of this place before I even finalize the deal. But those will come when I'm settled in. In fact I'll make a large post explaining the living situation in about a week or so; with some bitchin' photos.

And I'll do a more in-depth post on Sunday explaining some details of this trip.



Bye!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Tattoo!

I've been thinking a lot more about a tattoo. I figured once I get money situated in the city I'll be ready to get my first. But the thing is I'm not really sure what I want as my first tattoo, or, shall I say, I WASN'T UNTIL NOW (this was meant to be dramatic.)

I looked into the best parlors in nyc and I found from Times, or some other respected online paper, that Fly Rite in Brooklyn is one of the best. So I did a little research and saw that they were indeed respectable. Looking through the artist galleries I came across a painting one of the artists did. Charlie Foos. I loved it so I had to email him and ask if it'd be something he'd be willing to translate to a tattoo on somone. He responded pretty quickly saying he'd love to! Which is cool news.

Here's the picture:
I talked about a few minor alterations. Like perhaps changing her clothes to blue, but I figure that's something he and I can discuss later when I'm there.

I was thinking, too, to make her blonde as sort of a tribute to the women in my family. But, honestly, that's just sort of something I decided to tack on to justify it. But I feel like it's okay to just wear a tattoo as a piece of art that I enjoy. So I'll probably keep it as is.

I'm probably going to get it on my lower back. Just kidding. On my upper right arm. Hopefully the size of the whole thing will come down a little to my bicep. I want it to be colorful and show a little bit when i wear t-shirts.

We'll see how I feel about it when I actually have the money for it. Probably not for a few months.

In other news, I go to NYC tomorrow for the weekend to try and figure out a place to live. Hopefully that works out well. But I'm excited to hang out with a few friends there and have a good time. I am a little anxious about the trip/flying, but usually that feeling passes once I'm there or on the plane. Alcohol helps a bit, too.

Holly wants to have some drinks on top of her roof on Friday night, I believe. Maybe if photos are taken I can post a few. It's a pretty cool view from the top of her apartment building. She lives in the Lower East Side.

That's all for now!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

First Post!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome to the ol' bloggity boo!

There's not too much to talk about in this entry, except the fact that it has been one full day (24 hours) since my wisdom teeth surgery and I'm feeling pretty well. I could eat solid foods almost immediately after the meal and the surgical sites seem to be healing quickly. There are two possible explanations for this:

1) I am part superhero and am indestructible
2) Zero out of the three teeth were impacted, making the operation easy as pie

I like pie. Just sayin'. Lotsa calories in pie, though, gotta be careful.

I was trying to take a picture of my gross bottom wisdom tooth, or the remains of where it once was. But I couldn't get a photo to justify how gross it was (also I'm not sure how eager anyone would be to see it) Basically imagine a deep hole in the gums with room to store at least two pieces of corn, or one large pea. Or a small bag of drugs.

Speaking of drugs; I was looking forward to getting some painkillers after the surgery. I'm not promoting the use of drugs or anything, and I myself stay away from drugs save alcohol and the occasional cigarette. But I had never tried any type of painkiller and I wanted to give it a try at least once. But I was prescribed Ibuprofen by the doctor. Yeah. Ibuprofen. So I'm pretty fucked up on Motrin right now. But I shouldn't complain because I feel like I got off very easy with the surgery and the recovery process, with or without drugs.

Tune in next time!